Pleasure vs Pain
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻 Everything we do as humans are motivated by two things:
Pleasure & Pain
We all want to do whatever we can to escape pain and move towards pleasure. When I was a career and confidence coach for Introverts, a lot of my clients wanted to make more money, get a better job, etc, but they just felt "stuck" and couldn't figure out why.
The reason why they're stuck is because people will always do more to escape pain than to gain pleasure.
So if you want a new job or want to make more money (Pleasure) but you're scared of applying for jobs that are "above your paygrade", avoiding the potential Pain will win EVERY time.
If you want to get in better shape but you don't want the "pain" of being sore or having to move your body and sweat, you won't workout.
If you want to be an entrepreneur but you're scared of hearing "No", you won't do the work to build your business.
Same thing with dating.
If you want to date more women but you fear being rejected, you'll never approach women you think are attractive.
If you want to be in a great relationship but you fear being abandoned, you'll self-sabotage the relationship.
The trick to turning this around is to start equating Pain with not reaching your goals.
If you want a better job, imagine yourself being stuck at the same job for the next for 5 years if you don't start applying for other jobs.
If you want to start your own business, what is your life going to look like 10 years from now if you never take action?
If you want to start dating more women, imagine the emotional pain you're going to feel 5 years from now if you don't do anything to figure out your dating issues.
If you're struggling with dating and you're letting fear hold you back, success all starts with a shift in your mindset.